Who is a Gentleman? How do you become one? What sets a gentleman apart from the rest?

redefining-gentlemanYou can find answers to these simple questions quite easily over the internet and most of the articles convey that it is all about the clothes you wear and the wine you drink. The truth is a lot different. Today’s is a fashion-obsessed world, trends come and they fade out into nothingness but there is one thing that never goes out of vogue, being a “gentleman”. Well, not the libertine modern gentleman that so many perceive themselves to be but a true gentleman who demonstrates chivalry, the strength of character and a remarkable taste in his bearing.

Now, defining a gentleman on some set parameters is an impossible thing to do because there is not one single complete definition that can describe what it means to be one. It is a very subjective term but still, there are certain attributes that attach themselves to the tag of being a gentleman and any man who wishes to be called one should adhere to the following 10 thumb rules.

Take note that this is by no means an exhaustive list. While the following qualities are necessary they are not the only qualities that a man should possess.

A gentleman maintains a balance between his personal and professional life.

Pretty straight forward. Isn’t it?

You might have a very busy life but you have to make time for your loved ones. Be it your parents, your better halves or your kids. They deserve spending time with their family and it is your responsibility to ensure that they do.

A gentleman is always presentable.

One thing that will set you apart from the crowd is your appearance. Now, by appearance, we do not imply the looks of a person because that is largely affected by the genes we carry but the way you present yourself by wearing clothes that are appropriate for the occasion and by staying well groomed.

Believe it or not, Grooming if done properly can make a lot of difference and add a charisma to your personality.

A gentleman is well-spoken and is a generous listener.

Another indispensable trait for a charming personality is the ability to communicate well i.e. being well-spoken and being a good listener. Your tone should express confidence and respect for the person you are talking to and not arrogance.

A gentleman always has a strong positive value system.

Effective leaders have their own personal branding, often seen by others as their value system. What it essentially does is introduce a consistency in our behaviour and expectations. Men with strong value system naturally attract followers and are a strong source of inspiration for many.

A gentleman is well aware of the line between confidence and arrogance.

The relationship between confidence and arrogance is a complex one but a gentleman often knows how to differentiate between the two. A confident person never takes others for granted and understands that he cannot function alone while arrogance is associated with the belief that ‘I am the best and nothing I do can go wrong’, which often results in failure.

A gentleman demonstrates respect, restraint and personal responsibility in all his interactions.

The 3R’s are a rare virtue to find among the present generation but these are a true mark of a strong character. Respect yourself and respect others. Practice restraint with your emotions and your words and take responsibility for your actions.

The 3R’s are not optional, they are a must. Enough said.

A gentleman doesn’t differentiate between fellow men.

A man who thinks of himself to be better than everybody else is no gentleman. Humility is as important as any trait in a gentleman’s arsenal. His actions are not governed by the people around him. A gentleman does what he has to do without discrimination. Always!

A gentleman shies away from gossip.

Gossip is a dangerous enemy of a gentleman. It creates false perceptions about the person you are talking about and in most cases, comes back to you. Strong and educated minds will always find happiness in discussing ideas, average minds will discuss events and weak and selfish minds will find happiness in discussing people. Make sure you are not in the latter two categories.

A gentleman never puts his cell phone at the dinner table.

People with good table manners do not check their cell phones at a dinner table when they have company. When you are dining with friends or family or are on a date you must socialise. Including a cell phone at the table is a gesture that tells the other person that he is being ignored. Not gentlemanly at all. Focus on the people at the table.

A gentleman has a sense of humour.

Humour makes you interesting. Period.

If a gentleman has humour, he is naturally bound to be more noticeable because he attracts people. It is simple logic; because people prefer laughing over crying so they will always prefer someone who makes them laugh over one that doesn’t.

As simple as it may sound, it is not easy to follow these ideal situations but a gentleman must always try because that is one thing which will ultimately make you the person you want to be.

Thank you for reading all the way.

If you liked the post please share it with your friends.

Signing off

Yours truly.

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19 Responses

  1. Batman says:

    looks great…..

  2. I definitely think there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance and most people have to tread that line lightly. Being confident typically is shown without having to brag.

  3. Aditi says:

    This is a really interesting read. It’s difficult to find true gentlemen these days, but they do exist. 🙂

  4. I definitely think it’s about making time for those around you regardless of how busy you are. It shows you care x

    • yes, Rhian! making time for your loved ones is indeed a very gentlemanly virtue. not only does it show you care but also brings you closer to the people that matter in your life.

  5. It is very rare to find a gentleman these days which is a sad thought. Still you right, a gentleman is someone who is considerate, well spoken, well dressed and treats people well!

    • Hi, Ana, I would agree that the gentlemanly virtues are quite difficult to come across these days and this fact itself makes these qualities highly desirable for a man of honour.

  6. I think all of these are good things to keep in mind as to how anyone should treat anyone else and any man who followed these would definitely be a gentleman.

  7. I loooove this post! Mostly because it’s so incredibly accurate but also because as I was reading it, each point made me think of my boyfriend which makes me think I must have done a good job picking him! haha jk I already knew I did a good job with that. But seriously, it’s really interesting because I feel like as a society we always talk about the differences between a boy and a man but we never really talk about a man vs. a gentleman and there is absolutely a difference!

  8. Elena says:

    I know that many people say that there are no true gentlemen any more, but I still believe that there are.

  9. Simona Tinca says:

    Such an interesting post. I still belive that out there in the world, the gentleman, they still exist.

  10. Akshhat Srivastava says:

    Great post! Very well written. Reading this reminded me of Rudyard Kipling’s ‘If’.

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