THE GENTLEMAN’S CODEX: A GUIDE TO GENERAL ETIQUETTES
The world is changing rapidly. There is chaos everywhere. Everybody wants to win and in this race of becoming the richest or most successful, we have compromised on things bigger than money. Etiquettes used to be one of the most important lessons a man could learn. The fact is that they still are but our shallow selves have decided to ignore them altogether. We as a society have collectively decided against ethos that helped us succeed in our social and professional lives.
A gentleman is not defined by the content of his wallet or the cut of his suit but by his manners and the contents of his character.
In this culture of instant gratification and sheer indolence, the importance of etiquettes has fallen drastically. Sadly, many men today, see good manners in a negative light. They associate words like stiff and old-fashioned and awkward with people who practice manners. We, at The Gentleman Blog, believe that society has simply stopped teaching manners like it used to. It is not surprising because we cannot expect a lot when our ideals are set by TV shows, whose aim is generating revenue and not teaching manners. Due to these cultural blunders shaping our society, it is becoming increasingly difficult to bridge the fine line between genuine politeness and coming out as an ostentatious freak.
In an attempt to revive the etiquette lessons of the past into practical and acceptable behaviour, we bring to you a list of general etiquettes that all men should follow. We hope you like it and implement it in your life.
1. A man is only as good as his word
We hear this saying quite a lot, but what makes your word so important? The fact is that your word is directly linked to your integrity. Without honour and integrity, you are just another human making false promises and empty gestures, things very characteristic of today’s society. When you break your word, you lose credibility and that is losing a lot. The important thing here is that not only should a gentleman keep his word to others but to himself as well. When you respect the promise that you made to yourself, you achieve discipline and gentleman that is one of the biggest achievements you can make.
2. Think before you speak
Speaking without thinking was a habit that got you killed in the olden days. Well, even today its effects are devastating. Your relationships end, your career suffers and most importantly, you lose confidence. Your communications shape your personality and your life. Think before you speak and take responsibility for what comes out of your mouth. And most importantly do not use words whose meaning you do not know. Being thoughtless and careless reflects poorly on your etiquettes and your upbringing.
3. Be on Time, if not early
One of the easiest ways of starting things right is to be on time. Never ever make somebody wait for you, especially if it is a date. Being on time demonstrates that you are dependable and diligent. A punctual man shows respect for others by valuing their time as much as he values his own.
4. Ignore your ego and help others
You will find plenty of people around you who will resist you. They may even resent you and think you are foolish for doing what you do. Don’t get tripped by their criticism. Contrary to popular belief your most complicated relationship is not with the ex that never really broke up with you, but with your own ego. Do not hold a grudge against someone just because they criticise you. Help them in their hour of need and it shall come back to you.
5. Shy away from gossip
Gossip is one of the most dangerous enemies of a gentleman. A person with etiquettes will find happiness in discussing ideas and making meaningful conversations, not by discussing the lives of other people. Make sure you are not a tattler. Gossip is not your repertoire.
6. There are things more important than money
Money is great. It is good to be rich and successful but money shouldn’t be something for which you trade your character, your health and the well being of your loved ones. In fact, money should never be a motivation for any decision you make outside of the business.
7. Do not boast of your charity and chivalry
A gentleman carries the burden of anonymity. Good deeds and acts of kindness are true in meaning and pure in intentions if you don’t have to brag about them. A boastful man looks shallow to everybody around him.
Remember, Etiquettes are just superficial gestures until you mean them. Offering these gestures do make a difference but if you offer them with all your heart, they can be a game changer for you and for the people who look up to you. With that said, I hope all you gentlemen will strive to uphold the morals that make a respectable man. Watch this space for more in the series.
Until next time!