THE GENTLEMAN’S CODEX: A GUIDE TO GENERAL ETIQUETTES

The world is changing rapidly. There is chaos everywhere. Everybody wants to win and in this race of becoming the richest or most successful, we have compromised on things bigger than money. Etiquettes used to be one of the most important lessons a man could learn. The fact is that they still are but our shallow selves have decided to ignore them altogether. We as a society have collectively decided against ethos that helped us succeed in our social and professional lives.

A gentleman is not defined by the content of his wallet or the cut of his suit but by his manners and the contents of his character.

In this culture of instant gratification and sheer indolence, the importance of etiquettes has fallen drastically. Sadly, many men today, see good manners in a negative light. They associate words like stiff and old-fashioned and awkward with people who practice manners. We, at The Gentleman Blog, believe that society has simply stopped teaching manners like it used to.  It is not surprising because we cannot expect a lot when our ideals are set by TV shows, whose aim is generating revenue and not teaching manners. Due to these cultural blunders shaping our society, it is becoming increasingly difficult to bridge the fine line between genuine politeness and coming out as an ostentatious freak.

In an attempt to revive the etiquette lessons of the past into practical and acceptable behaviour, we bring to you a list of general etiquettes that all men should follow. We hope you like it and implement it in your life.

gentleman-codex-etiquettes

1. A man is only as good as his word

We hear this saying quite a lot, but what makes your word so important? The fact is that your word is directly linked to your integrity. Without honour and integrity, you are just another human making false promises and empty gestures, things very characteristic of today’s society. When you break your word, you lose credibility and that is losing a lot. The important thing here is that not only should a gentleman keep his word to others but to himself as well. When you respect the promise that you made to yourself, you achieve discipline and gentleman that is one of the biggest achievements you can make.

2. Think before you speak

Speaking without thinking was a habit that got you killed in the olden days.  Well, even today its effects are devastating. Your relationships end, your career suffers and most importantly, you lose confidence. Your communications shape your personality and your life. Think before you speak and take responsibility for what comes out of your mouth. And most importantly do not use words whose meaning you do not know. Being thoughtless and careless reflects poorly on your etiquettes and your upbringing.

3. Be on Time, if not early

One of the easiest ways of starting things right is to be on time. Never ever make somebody wait for you, especially if it is a date. Being on time demonstrates that you are dependable and diligent. A punctual man shows respect for others by valuing their time as much as he values his own.

4. Ignore your ego and help others

You will find plenty of people around you who will resist you. They may even resent you and think you are foolish for doing what you do. Don’t get tripped by their criticism. Contrary to popular belief your most complicated relationship is not with the ex that never really broke up with you, but with your own ego. Do not hold a grudge against someone just because they criticise you. Help them in their hour of need and it shall come back to you.  

5. Shy away from gossip

Gossip is one of the most dangerous enemies of a gentleman. A person with etiquettes will find happiness in discussing ideas and making meaningful conversations, not by discussing the lives of other people. Make sure you are not a tattler. Gossip is not your repertoire.

6. There are things more important than money

Money is great. It is good to be rich and successful but money shouldn’t be something for which you trade your character, your health and the well being of your loved ones. In fact, money should never be a motivation for any decision you make outside of the business. 

7. Do not boast of your charity and chivalry

A gentleman carries the burden of anonymity. Good deeds and acts of kindness are true in meaning and pure in intentions if you don’t have to brag about them. A boastful man looks shallow to everybody around him.

Remember, Etiquettes are just superficial gestures until you mean them. Offering these gestures do make a difference but if you offer them with all your heart, they can be a game changer for you and for the people who look up to you. With that said, I hope all you gentlemen will strive to uphold the morals that make a respectable man. Watch this space for more in the series. 

Until next time!

Yours Truly

 

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16 Responses

  1. Renee Kemper says:

    These traits are something that is absolutely missing in so many men today. I am not sure where they got lost but being a young lady in her 30’s, raising a young man, I can only hope that I have shown him how important etiquette still is today.

  2. Some great tips and I totally agree that people can take from these. People do need to forget their ego and just be honest with themselves x

  3. wow, I just loved it and feel like sharing to so many so-called “gentlemen” around me. Mostly I see people boasting of their work and this is what I hate the most. Hope people try and follow this code.

  4. Kweni says:

    I grew up in a generation where being a gentleman is starting to fade. In high school, all men have handkerchiefs, offers their seat to those who need it and opens doors for people. When I got into college, those acts were extinct. It’s our role to pass it on to the younger generations to have proper etiquette.

  5. Well said!! I couldn’t agree more that the virtues of chivalry are often dismissed as old fashion or challenged as insincere. It’s an important point that etiquette is more about self respect and the standards we hold ourselves to rather than trying to impress others.

  6. Akamatra says:

    These are great suggestions. I think they apply to both sexes really! It’s not a man’s thing only 🙂

  7. Tayler says:

    I love this article. Everyone could learn from these guidelines! Women could do better with these too.

  8. Tria says:

    I really enjoyed reading this and it is so relevant in today’s context. There is so much that we can learn from this!

  9. Dalene says:

    This is totally a gentleman’s codex guide! In this era where very man is struggling to get to the top, character and etiquette are really put on the line. I loved the point you mentioned about a gentleman having to ignore his ego and help others…well, that is something so rare at the moment. And again, money is not everything! That should not be mistaken since some will go to the extent of disowning the loved ones and such just for money. More gentlemen should read this, and get back on toes.

  10. Geraline Batarra says:

    Those lists are really interesting and I wonder if there is a man doing all of these?! But I am glad that I was being surrounded and grew up by the gentleman they are not able to do all these lists but at least they do some of it. Love the quote!

  11. London Mumma says:

    Men, sit back and take note of this blog post. Some brilliant tips on how to be a true gent.

  12. Sayanti says:

    I guess many men are missing these general etiquette’s nowadays, but there are so many who follow all these and that’s what makes them a true gentleman. I am gonna share this article with all my male friends!

  13. Shay says:

    I wish people realize there are more important things than money. You are right on track with this post! Keep it up

  14. I agree basic manners and etiquette are greatly missing from many men these days. However, I think these long lost traits are missing from society in general and your list could also be applied to women, children etc!

  15. Rachel says:

    These values are so important, not just for gentlemen but they should be values that everyone should try to strive for in life! A little bit of empathy and understanding doesn’t hurt anybody.

  16. I enjoyed reading this post. helpful and informative I would love to learn more.

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